Undoing the Shame Religious Trauma Leaves Behind

There’s a kind of shame that runs deep. The kind that doesn’t just say “I made a mistake” — but “I am the mistake.”

And for many people who’ve experienced religious trauma, that belief gets planted early and reinforced often. Sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly. But it settles in over time, and before long, it can start to feel like truth.

Maybe you were told that your feelings were sinful. Or your questions made you dangerous. Maybe your identity, your body, your desires, or your doubts were considered evil or perverted. Maybe you internalized the belief that suffering was your fault—or that it was somehow redemptive.

And if that’s true, then healing becomes complicated. Because if you’ve been taught that you are the problem, then reaching out for help can feel complicated, confusing—or even wrong. It can stir up more shame. But healing begins with telling the truth about what hurt.

And here’s what I want to say, as clearly as I can: There is nothing wrong with you.

What you’re carrying? The shame you feel? That’s not a flaw—it’s a wound.

Your nervous system, your coping strategies, your resistance to trust, your difficulty making decisions, your hyper-vigilance? Those aren’t signs of inherent brokenness. They are evidence that you’ve been through something hard—and your body, mind, and soul are doing their best to keep you safe.

You’re not broken. You’re responding to something that hurt.

And if no one ever told you this before, or told you the opposite message… it makes sense. It makes sense that you might feel alerted to the idea that what I’m saying might be scandalous or worthy of fear.

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This is why I’m creating a therapy group for people recovering from religious trauma.

Because healing doesn’t happen in isolation.

Shame thrives in silence—but it loses its grip when we speak it in the presence of others who understand. Who aren’t trying to change or control us.

This group will be a space where you don’t have to explain the whole backstory. A space where you don’t have to filter your grief, your anger, or your doubt. A space where you’re allowed to be exactly where you are—without judgment, without pressure, and without the message that you’re somehow “too much.”

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can reply to this email or click here to learn more about the group.

Feel free to share this with someone who might need to hear it too.

You are not alone. And you are not the problem.